Life of a Kat

Life rolled in and rolled off today.  Morning tasks and mundane chores.  Capping the day with a glass of beer and conversations about failed dating and hopeless romanticism.  Aiming for sunrise flow tomorrow. 

 Day 10 of 10 Work Week  I survived or I had lived? It was quite a roller coaster ride of 10 days, mainly because I had to work for 10 days straight and it kinda rocked my routines but was still able to pull through with things and deadlines.  I just got home from a long drive from Kanoya. I was also on a zoom call while on the road, and it was quite a tedious coz the discussion weren't so simple. I hope not to do it again. I think that was what really exhausted my energy. Lol But I'm glad to be in my own bed. Fudge. This was actually a bed bought by the guy who lead me on and didn't follow through. Lol. He bought me a very nice bed that I always look forward to sleeping on whenever I can. I wish I can sleep with him in this bed too. 😂  7 days holiday. Would have been nice to come home and surprise mama and papa and the whole family. 🥹 Good night.  Zzzzzzzz

 I ate a plateful of sushi tonight and drank a warm glass of milk. I am ready for bed. I still haven't submitted the resume for that researcher project opening. I am just not sure if I am fit for that. Though, the guide questions are already in place, all I gotta do is research and do the inquiries to the right people in my network. So tomorrow, I will submit a CV. Just to give it a try.  It will be in the season of Summer School but hopefully it will be a good distraction and diversion of energy as I try to disentangle myself from the thoughts of being lead on by a guy who probably is bored to death with his life and found me as a clown to entertain him.  I haven't felt this kind of feeling before against a guy. Either due to the low number of dates I had gone all my life or I am just simply dumb that I had no clear view of the guy's intention and certainly ignored the red flags. Or it could just be me trying to take things to the fast lane.  Oh well, I am here and ...

 It's 2AM and I woke up from a very bad dream. How do you stop unhelpful thoughts from haunting you? How do you stop of thinking of people that hurt you? How do you stop caring? How do you learn to ride the wave of lies and pretend that you're just cool with everything, the ignoring and the cheating that you don't intend to be part of?  I am so hurt right now that I couldn't even sleep.

I thought I will be able to do drills today but not at all. Morning was spent cleaning and cleaning and trying declutter and packing for a week-long work trip.  Had to also take extra half an hour for tire rotation as well.  Our island school received an award of appreciation from the local education office for its efforts during the fresh days of the aftermath of Typhoon Odette in the island. I cried. I was so happy and proud to be part of the efforts.  I am liking this daily journaling habit that I had built.  Long drive today to my usual work destination of Kanoya :)  Prep of the retouch stage of my microbladed eyebrow tonight

 How do I process today?  I'll just write it here coz I don't think it is fair to bug people on their weekend and most of them are really having a good time. They don't deserve to hear such an unfortunate event. After all, I am still alive and still here.  I just need to vent this out.  Today was make up lesson for a class the was cancelled last Saturday so I can cover for another set of lessons in a different location.  Aside from it is on a Sunday, it is also a 5-class day which is the heaviest load in the job. Also, after 3 classes, there is a 1.5 hour gap before the next two classes which were also comprised of very hyper kids.  There was this one kid who didn't wanna be in class, but he had to stay for two hours and on the second hour, he just acted crazy and started kicking stuff, taking away things and wanting to open the door which is a definite no-no for safety reasons. I think instead of winding down his emotions, it all flared up when I tried to ...

 I don't know how I was able to get up this morning and still managed to do some rope and poi drills and 3 minute plank.  Colored clothes laundered. Cleaned up a bit.  Floor polished.  Working building a one corner one use kinda of space to maximize habit formation and expulsion with the least effort exertion required.  What else can I say? I have been less anxious lately as I go over days of not having any conversations with somebody I thought I had a thing with.  I still haven't give up in the prayer that I would like to share the opportunity of growing old together with in life. For sure every now and then, I'm gonna have anxiety attacks but I will remember days like this one that I was able to got on with my day... happily tired and grateful.  Out of the blue, a friend of my messaged and said that I should start vlogging. Lol. I promised I'll try and post my ganaps for today but I obviously failed at it and this selfie vid was just an attempt to hu...