27 Apr 2022

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 I ate a plateful of sushi tonight and drank a warm glass of milk. I am ready for bed.

I still haven't submitted the resume for that researcher project opening. I am just not sure if I am fit for that. Though, the guide questions are already in place, all I gotta do is research and do the inquiries to the right people in my network. So tomorrow, I will submit a CV. Just to give it a try. 

It will be in the season of Summer School but hopefully it will be a good distraction and diversion of energy as I try to disentangle myself from the thoughts of being lead on by a guy who probably is bored to death with his life and found me as a clown to entertain him. 

I haven't felt this kind of feeling before against a guy. Either due to the low number of dates I had gone all my life or I am just simply dumb that I had no clear view of the guy's intention and certainly ignored the red flags. Or it could just be me trying to take things to the fast lane. 

Oh well, I am here and I have stuff to do and there is no time to relish the heartbreak I keep bringing to myself. 

I am still sad and I am also sleepy, so I will sleep for now.

Oh btw, I got this thing called BB glow treatment, somewhat like semi-permanent make up facial treatment and my face is red all over and since I have been eating rice for consecutive days, I feel bloated. LOL. 

***************

Lord, take this feeling of sadness, away and far from me. 

This feeling of unworthiness be washed away.

This feeling of loneliness, be drifted afar by the winds. 

This feeling of pain, be washed away by the rains. 

Also, may the right guy find me. I am so lost, even with hope. 

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