Life of a Kat

 Half of 2022 is wrapping up!  How time flies. I am on my 2 and a half year of hiatus from Graduate school and I am not sure if I would still be able to pick myself up and resume. I still pray for it. That I get to finish this course, get that title and be over and done with it or get it somewhere else. I still need to figure out my ways and eventual family life plans. I still see myself getting married and wanting to have kids of my own, you know.  Bouts of anxiety here and there but I am glad to report that I am still fairly alive and functioning, fulfilling my commitments and every day, I try to figure out how to best live this life that I have.  I wish I could hug a human being on a regular basis. It is such a rare commodity right now. And being choosy that I am, I know that it isn't an easy thing to do.  Hmm.. I am still having a hard time trying to figure out how to shorten my presentation for July, but I will get there. I am happy to say that I am on my w...

 I started my slides for the upcoming presentation about the Philippines. It is set to be on 31st of July, but I need to be able to talk to the person in charge on Saturday about the flow of the presentation, thats why I need to come up with the content and preferrable narrative by Saturday. I realize that at some level, I am an obliger type of person. I need deadlines, I need people relying on me and I need to be notably accountable so I can work on something.  Happy to be able to get started with the writing, and slowly fill it in by tomorrow I hope before I do my ropes and maybe some roller blades as well if I feel like going under the heat of the sun. LOL.  I haven't scouted surfboard to buy at all but if I want to be go surfing I know that I would need to get one soon.  Midweek hump is on.  I had one of those days that I had to spend a long at work, I mean at the work that pays the bill and I am not used to it. I'm grateful for this job, the time and the ar...

 And that is Sunday for you.  I can't believe it is over now.  Was able to go for basic skate practice in the morning. Less than an hour but it was fun.  The usual morning zoom session went by, and glad that after 2 more sessions, we will be taking a break which means I would have some free time in Sunday mornings for more fun stuff to work on.  Afternoon zoom session was quite heavy and we actually got extended and the next homework is a bit heavy and need to be dealt with, chunk by chunk for the entire week.  I have a slideshow show to curate for my upcoming presentation and I am confident that I will get it done coz I have no choice on it anyway.  Glad to meet two new amazing people today through my coworker whom I think I have spent more time with than I had spent time with N when she was still here.  No discord sessions with sisters tonight coz I was out til late, but we will definitely catch up another Discord sessions.  Grateful for to...

 I just wanna let you know that I cried after a 4-hour battle with the bank for a bank statement that I need for an application. I am so sorry for being such an impatient client and I just dont understand how things had been going on. I just dont.  But here's to hoping that its worth all the tears and time spent and hope not to be on that kind of situation again. 

 Quite a long day and tomorrow will be like that again.  My sisters had been working on a lot of stuff back home and I wish I could join in as well.  I just got my GCash account and it still needs verification so that means I would need to upload info and other data into it. But I'll take care of that on another day. One at a time.  I need to get my presentation draft moved to a powerpoint draft and I'll work on that this weekend.  So many things to accomplish. So little time.  Over all, I am grateful.  I am still at the phase that I am sad coz things just fell apart like that and I don't know why but it is, what it is. I still cry at the thought of it, but this is just one of the few guys I had allowed myself to be vulnerable with and it has to end. I dont think I have a choice on making sure that I am better at this dating game the next time around. 

 I'm feeling a little bit better today. Still with cramps, crunching pain in the neck, the corner of my knee joints and my heart is in constant pain.  Time will really just come that you'll learn to accept them as they are. You realize that there is no point into seeking for more details to convince as it just add up to more sadness and pain and eventual hopelessness and that isn't what I want.  Also, I may have lead on myself into the situation and it beought me where I am right now. Still, it was quite an experience I hope not to put myself into again.  If anyone could read this and compare how my compositions are in my active social media accounts, they prolly would think I'm crazy, or such a drama queen. But I've come to accept that my feelings, whatever they are, they are valid. As long as I am able to deliver and express in good faith, I think it will lead to something such as freedom from all the fears I have created, freedom in truth and freedom to face the ...

It is Summer Solstice of 2022, the longest day of the year. For me, it is one of those days that I am so eager to end and when I wake up the next day, I wish I feel better.  I woke up with very bad pains in the neck part and shoulders are so stiff that if I move, it creates that twisting and crushing pain and I am scared that I might break my own neck if I force it to move further. Shoulders feel so heavy, I feel like I am having a fever and all I wanna do is sleep my way into life and wake up back to normal.  Except for some piano playing and nicely plating my meals, I had not done anything that is in my routine.  With that, I was wishing for someone I can just say that I am having a bad day and I am in pain. So, I just write it here. Then, when I read back in the future and read this again, I pray I am not alone anymore. or if I am still alone, I hope that I am in a healthy state of being.  I wanted to describe exactly the kind of discomforts I am having inside of ...