21 June 2022

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It is Summer Solstice of 2022, the longest day of the year. For me, it is one of those days that I am so eager to end and when I wake up the next day, I wish I feel better. 

I woke up with very bad pains in the neck part and shoulders are so stiff that if I move, it creates that twisting and crushing pain and I am scared that I might break my own neck if I force it to move further. Shoulders feel so heavy, I feel like I am having a fever and all I wanna do is sleep my way into life and wake up back to normal. 

Except for some piano playing and nicely plating my meals, I had not done anything that is in my routine. 

With that, I was wishing for someone I can just say that I am having a bad day and I am in pain. So, I just write it here. Then, when I read back in the future and read this again, I pray I am not alone anymore. or if I am still alone, I hope that I am in a healthy state of being. 

I wanted to describe exactly the kind of discomforts I am having inside of me but I don't know where to start and how to give them labels and names, but altogether, it ends up having that very sad feeling that and craving for someone. I have thought of messaging and reaching out to people, but I would rather just write it all here. This is a passing situation and tomorrow if I will definitely feel better. I just really need to rest. Read a book, and sleep it in and hopefully tomorrow, things are far better than it is today. 

The dirty dishes wouldn't wash itself though, so I would need to tend to that and brush my teeth, no detailed skin routine for tonight except quick shower and clean clothes. 

Good night and finally, Hello Summer. 

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