I wish I could.

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Twenty minutes before it strikes 1am. I am still widely awake.

So, how was your first day of being 32? It was nice. It was great. It was amazing. It was blessed.

I didn’t get to chat with my parents but my siblings were able to remember. The heavy rains had been the reason that our home had been having one and off internet connection. My little brother even said sorry for his late greetings. I would have just hugged him.

I need hug because I am so happy and thankful.
I need hug because I don’t like the feeling of waiting for that someone who will never just gonna be there to celebrate with me on this day.

I need hug coz I am giving up.

At the back of this happy face is a lonely soul. A victim of romanticism and it is difficult to just come out of that whole idea of love and being complete.

No matter how strong you try to restrain the tears and the sobs from coming out of the chest, it will just suddenly burst out.

I try to be contented because I know that a lot of people remembered and took time but there will always be this someone whom you wish will remember, but never will. And if they pop up in your life in another day, your heart will simply just come beating up again, just forgetting how abandoned they made you feel before. I don’t know how to describe this feeling.

Do I hate it? Maybe. Do I hate that person? Why would I? I wish I could.

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