Breakdown 6.21

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I was kinda surprised and kinda grateful that I haven't had any intense breakdowns lately at least for the couple of months that had passed. And the n just now, I am feeling it again. The series of deep sighs, the tears just wanna roll down, the deep feeling of loneliness creeps into me and I just am losing if again. 

The days and weeks had been filled from morning til late evening. From mundane tasks of housekeeping, prepping up the day, then jumping from one task to another, the exhausting part is the switching inside the brain to be in the present moment of task at hand.  But I love every thing that I get to do right now. I just wish I get to express it more into someone and then I can add it into my writing. 

I just checked into my hotel for the week. I need to get myself collected within an hour, coz work starts at 6pm. 

I am in one of those days that I, myself, would never understand why I feel this way despite all the good things and people that I have in my life, but as much as I can, as long as I can, I will battle this out and keep being the amazing self that I intend to be so I can do more for my dreams. 

It is hard, to my incoming partner, whoever you are, this is a side of me that you might have to deal with every now and then. Know that I am trying my best to battle it when it comes to me coz I want to be my best self when I am with you. But it just gets me every now and then. 

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