Life of a Kat

 Today, I tried to submit my research proposal only to be told I need to make it a bit further shorter, 5-6 pages. After all, it is still a proposal. I am having a hard time curating a Scope and Delimitation section. Obviously, an evidence of me being out of focus and still not in the flow.  On the other side, I am excited to embark on this final subject for this academic endeavour as I am excited to learn more things and be more helpful for others. I hope.  ***** Kuya's condition today hasn't gotten any bit better. He is still at 40 degrees with fever and the doctors are changing his medications coz of some internal infections that had popped up since he started his chemotherapy. The only message I got from him today was a "Salamat." from a voice message I sent last night. He told me that he had started losing hair and I told him that he is still handsome nonetheless and it is just a setback and it will grow back once he completes his sessions and be healed.  Tomorr...

 365 QOTD  What is the last thing you felt guilty about? I felt guilty taking that morning roadtrip to Cape Sata, but I also felt happy that I took that trip because this evening, it had been filled with tears and worries for Kuya.  As I took a step forward with my MA degree, I need to re-align my priorities into writing, looking after family members and trying to go on with daily stresses of life.  ********* I cried this evening after having a conversation with my Ate about Kuya. He hasn't gone half of the second cycle of his chemo for the two days. He has high fever and very low White Blood Cell count that made the doctors cancel his procedure until he gets a little bit stronger. His voice has been very weak and suffering.  I pray. I cry. I weep. We all do. That is all we can do for now. The battle has just started and it is too early to give up. I am not giving up on my Kuya. I just can't. 

 I don't know how to describe today.  I woke up around 4AM with a mission of catching a beautiful sunrise atop a lighthouse. But I ended up discovering a paragliding turf that became my playground as I watch the sun rise above a cloudy sky.  A morning yoga by the beach followed by an aroma therapy yoga session, a quick shower then I am headed back home. I did more chores and found myself wanting to work outside the house and found a quiet nook in the middle of a busy coffee shop-- an online fellowship, making online poster and doing pre-work for a not-so planned reunion with college classmates.  Then, I found myself in an hour call with my cousin-sister while shopping goodies for Kuya. Before that I was in a phone call with him, his voice so hoarse and sounded like he is dealing with so much pain. I almost had to end the call so sudden coz I cannot take his voice being like that.  Went home and packed the stuff ready for drop off tomorrow. It should be okay and ...

  August 29, 2021. Akaike Campsite  As of today, this is the Kat's Jump of 2021. It took a lot of going back and forth before I had the full courage to jump. I even had to borrow a child's floating vest just so I can do it.  I told myself that there is no way I will end that day without doing that big jump into the water. The first time I tried to jump, the second time, the third time and the fourth time, I just couldn't jump. My arms and my legs were shaking. Y asked me what am I afraid of. I know that I am not afraid of heights. I am afraid of the water. As if it will eat me alive. Even retrieving my toydrone that sunk into a deep part of the flowing river, took me a lot of deep breathes before I was able to look for it.  Then, I had a talk with Y's friend, who had been jumping, backflip into the water without hesitation. I just had to know how to do it and he was the best person to ask. He said, he just jumps and just do it, it is exciting and there is really noth...

I saw fireworks tonight. Everytime I see one, I always remember my first kiss. It felt magical.  Then, I remember my first heartbreak. It was by the person who was my first kiss. It felt lethal.  Then, I learned to accept the reality of it all. There aint no magic in fireworks, abd heartbreaks aren't lethal either.  But they are both learning experiences with takeaways.  Firsts are firsts, they are exciting.  Pains are pains. They endure then melt away. 

I thought that today, being a Friday is Kuya G's 5th day of the 5/5 first chemo cycle. I was wrong. It is just the 4th of the 5. He still has tomorrow. First was a 6-hour drip and the next ones were just 3 hours and we keep praying that his body is responding positively to the medication and treatment plan as laid out.  Also, it is Kuya L's second day of isolation as a COVID-positive person. He had on-off fever and then now, he is doing well with minor headaches to endure. Hopefully his condition remains asymptomatic and then COIVD-free within the next 2 weeks.  Life just seem to flow and move and as I question a lot of what's going on, it just continues its pace.  I need a hug, a cuddle, a warm body around me, for now, I have Pooh and dreams of cuddly bears that arent true, coz they are deadly. LOL.  Tomorrow is gonna be an exciting day with the people I consider my family here in Miyazaki! It will be like our summer spree! So, I am going to bed and wake up early an...

Kuya will have his 2nd chemo of a 5-day cycle today. Yesterday he said it was so painful. My cousin-sister said, it is very painful.  Every morning, I include him in my prayers and that is on the only thing I can do for him right now.  So what's today' plan... I need to make a listening exercise for my student for Friday's lesson. Reply to my counterpart in India.  Reply to the university secretary.  Send that file to the student.  Quick laundry.  I am thinking of decluttering for a bit the cabinet so I can feel that I have more space.  I am eating breakfast as I am writing this while watching the PH news. I had been trying to build the morning habit of watching the news to get caught up. Eventhough the news are bad.  So, what else is there to do today? Of course! I need to go to work :P  I also need to do a sit down and re-align my finances as I have things to pay and home fund commitment for my family. After 4 years or so, we have started h...