Life of a Kat

​You know that feeling when you think you have everything in your life now under control and you're ready to just go about your daily boring life and then, you realized that you forgot something, the most basic for the day, the one that pays the bills and keeps you here in peace.  I totally misread my schedule for the week and thought that I was off today. To ease my worries, I thought I'll check my monthly sched and Lo and behold, I am supposed to be at work today.  So, without anything for an overnight stay, I had to drive myself to Kagoshima. I missed the first class, but managed to facilitate the second class.  I feel so stupid. But I'll be okay. It happens. I know. Just gotta make sure it won't happen again. 

​Quite an eventful day.  From the morning session's therapy for anxiety had been all about acceptance.  Then a walk by Sannomiya Gorge after a good lunch meeting in Kobayashi then I headed home for supposed to be lesson but it got cancelled last minute.  Zombie series stream with D was quite long tonight coz we started early.  Before that, I did some recordings and nothing of if was good enough and my sister advised that I do recording after workout coz by then I have a lot of oxygen in my body.  Ended the night with a good conversation with my sisters about their rants and their struggles as church volunteers. I feel humbled that they get to share their weakest points with me. Their doubts, their confusions and their anger at times. Those feelings are hard to express coz you need to be able to express them to someone you trust so much. 

 Had gone for archery today! It was tiring. My arms and shoulder blades do feel tensed and stressed.  It had a good day but a little bit sad. I am now slowly feeling the loneliness again.  But today has been a good day. I wish I could wrap it up with a good conversation with a significant other.  Well, its for someday to happen. Or maybe soon. Who knows. 

 And the obvious gap with the days of not being able to journal.  Ate and Kuya are up in the air and will be landing around 11PM Manila time.  I can't write in depth coz I am distracted.  Tokyo time had been nice and lots of walks.  Tomorrow is Thursday, my favorite day of the week. It will be a nice day to get a jump start to new days of knowing that Kuya is better and life is gonna be better.  I am sad. Well, I am crying now. Gonna brush my teeth and get ready to read a book while in bed. Then fall asleep with it. 

 I obviously missed more than a day of journaling now.  I am writing this around 4am of Feb 21st. I couldn't sleep in my pod. I am staying in a capsule hotel coz my cousins wont be arriving until tomorrow and I would rather stay at a hostel in Tokyo instead of traveling all the way to Fukushima and then going back to Tokyo again early morning the next day, not practical. Sunday morning therapy session was something to be thankful for. A reminder to do is to have that awareness on helpful and unhelpful thoughts to untangle the thoughts that are running inside my head.  It is still taking awhile for my body to take action when I feel stuck, but I feel that I am getting there.  And I get distracted easily. It has been my ongoing problem with myself eversince I discovered the power of internet.  After this, I am going to the toilet and when I come back, I will clean up and prepare my clothes for tomorrow morning. It is gonna be another windy day I suppose. I just ne...

 I thought I would do it last night, but I didn't get to do so.  Thursday had been calm and wonderful. As soon as I got home, I was actually tired and when I got into those pajamas, I was just ready to roll on the bed and read a book coz I thought D would be busy and wont be able to watch an episode that night.  I was out late in the morning for drills, but that had been accomplished, I mean, at least tried out but the level of smoothness is still yet to be achieved.  I am certainly enjoying the trials to be back into animal flow and once these Ropes are done, that is what I am gonna do.  There was one lesson at work that ended up being frustrated but the other two were just fun and light.  Today, Friday, Feb 18th, is pretty much a repeat of yesterday. Starting it off a bit early and saving a bit more energy for a long day ahead. 

 It looks like that my reflections for the day would have to be written the next day, if I wanna keep up with my daily reflections in following with Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. I feel like a giggly teenager coz the first thing I am excited to tell you is about Netflix and Chill epi 2 for All of us are Dead! LOL. D has a sprained ankle and cannot really play volleyball until further notice and so he has some free time on the weeknights and I have been working on lesser things to work on nights, so being in bed before 10pm seems to be ideal. Also, the thought of coming home to someone, even though virtual felt exciting. He is leaving soon, too. Just like the others in my life, I am getting to used to the leaving but the pain and hurt is always the same.  I wonder if someone had ever felt hurt coz I left? Or just sad or just wanna tell me not to leave but didnt tell me at all, and so I ended up leaving. What a thought to build up on my favorite day of the week, right? HAHA Toda...

 I am writing this on 16 FEb 2022, 15 minutes before 3pm, a few more minutes before I get to work.  I have been forgetting it. Compared to how much I was looking forward to writing things back in January. Things can do change so quickly, sometimes, you will notice it when it already changed.  I am suddenly sad. Probably as part of my monthly period and hormonal emotional rides. It sucks but every day I am learning to live with it.  My work performance wasn't so well also. My boss popped into my class and saw that I had no control of the kids altogether. Sad times. But it is what it is. Just gotta work on to be better.  The declutteting continues. I am continually tossing stuff, here and there and I can't wait to get rid of all of them! LOL. I probably will consider dropping off some of them in a secondhand shop for easier disposal.  It's the books that I am still considering what to do.  And tonight, before going to bed, I hope I will remember to write...

 It has been a good day. I know I had skipped days now in Feb and it doesnt look well, but it does happen.  I started it well with a good workout this morning, good lunch and I was able to finally have my car washed! Dinner with Tita G and then I asked D if he can watch All of Us Are Dead with me, and he said yes. So, yeah. I my first Netflix and Chill night and it was good.  And bought myself some flowers! <3 Apparently, fits my birthday color of primrose :D  I hope every day would just be like this: calm and full of things to be grateful for.  

 I missed a day! or a night, but I missed a moment to sit down and go about my day.  Today, I am posting a video of a cover song I learned and practiced this week. I wanted to really release a version that sounds so nice. But I realize that it will take a long time to be at that level and it is a waste of time to push for a pro level when all I really wanna do is sing and this one, its a song for the Lord.  My sisters had been so generous with their feedback and tips on how to make it better and I just so love that I get to have people like them in my circle.  The video is still rendering at the moment and I am just so excited for it. 

 I cant believe I forgot to do a journal entry about the 10th of Feb!  It had been a rainy day. I had my change oil for the car then I tried to do some drill at a different park. Then, I went home and took a nap and went to work. 

 Hump Wednesday it has been and I had eaten so much today. LOL.  Overall, it was a productive day.  The only thing I have been putting aside for awhile now was the carwash. Hopefully, on Friday, I can do it.  Tomorrow is change oil day and I need to manually apply for my academic residence for my thesis. 

I got up at 9am today.  I'll try to do better tomorrow.  Today, I started to practice Grace by Laura Story in Piano and it felt sooooo good to be able to sing that song. It is my daily prayer.  Tomorrow, I will try to do the workouts I did with Coach Fai, in the morning. And then, hopefully that would wake up my senses better.  Still working on the narrative for one of our biggest local partners in the island school and I really want this to be beautifully-written as a tribute to their deeds and the future plans that we have set for the kids of the island.  Today is the last day I will cook rice for awhile. I will sub it with zuccini and probably cauliflower every now and then. I really need to watch my diet, food choices and over all health condition.  For some reasons, the thought that my chances of conceiving a baby becomes very low every single day, I am not even sure if I can still bear one. And haven't been trying at all. LOL. HOW????? Can't do it alo...

 My lips are so dry, my cheeks are firy red.  What Mama noticed was my eyebrows though! HAHAHA She thought I was wearing make up when I just literally woke up from a nap. LOL.  One good success story today was I woke up, I mean I got up from my bed at 7:30-ish AM! Compared to the 9am I had the other days. And I did accomplish quite a few things.  Simple drills at the park, grocery shopping, booking flights to meet my cousins before they fly back to PH in end of month, some confirmed details about the new posts.  I still am lost, but feel better and functional and that's what matters.  I still wanna do a quick piano drill but I am not sure. I probably would before I start reading my book for bed. 

 It's my aunt's birthday!  And it had been a very busy day, well, at least when I decided to get up from my bed at 9am. I keep getting up my bed at 9am. Who does that? Who in the right mind, who wants to be successful get up as late as 9am? Well, maybe me. It has been hard to get up from bed this winter! The false chilly and windy weather outside makes me imagine things and just wanna hibernate in my comfy bed!  Then, I played around with my mixer and "new" condenser mic and that was so much fun! Did some cleaning up of my downloads folder, in my laptop. Great conversation with family, did that photo op request for Leni's campaign materials for Japan supporters. The two best parts were that simple excel sheets I had done with links and formulas! I still got it! HAHAHA. And the Day 1 for Ropeflow session. It was simply amazing!  Good Sunday, it has been. Thank you, Lord.  Would it be too much to ask to have someone with me I can spend good and calm and accomplish...

 Quite an eventful day.  From an early lunch with a Filipino who hooked me up to this new Korean-origin MLM beauty products, to getting chores done, unexpectedly splurging on an amazing, well-reviewed condenser mic, dinner with my Japanese family with the news of baby #2 coming our way, and of course, working on posts for the island school, it felt like a Saturday well-spent.  Tomorrow is Day 1 of our Rope Flow Course and I couldn't be more excited <3

 I decided to drive back tonight instead of my original plan of staying for the night and going back to the city early in the morning.  Long day tomorrow and exciting times ahead as we pick up pace in moving with the plans for the island school and communities.  I will have lunch with one of the Filipino pioneering residents in the Miyazaki tomorrow and I hope we could establish good connections over time.  I can't wait to go back to my piano lessons!  Good night for now.

 Thursday is my favorite day. Today just had gone and not really with the good Thursday vibe that I usually have.  Classes had gone but not as awesome as yesterday.  I feel like Im gonna need to let go of this school and will be assigned a new one.  I am still at that point of the day when I stop and just ask myself if I will ever have the courage and diligence to pursue my thesis studies. Or should I really start taking bolder steps for something else.  I dont know.  I just want a hug. You know that kind of hug you get at the end of a tiring day. Coming home to someone who knows you and loves you accepts you even though you snore so loud at night.  What am I saying. I got a lot of things to do on my head for tomorrow morning and I should be prepping for bed time. 

 Long drive this afternoon and staying in Kanoya for the rest of the week.  Meetings tomorrow. Work in the afternoon.  I miss my workouts.  I miss home.  Im tired but I am still distracted watching an episode of Orange is the New Black. 

​The flight back home was soooooo exhausting but it is nice to be back in my own bed.  Tasks after tasks. We had to postpone tonight's meeting because Jhe and I are both tired.  I picked up my new toy, not so new but its a secondhand audio mixer which I most likely wont be able to touch until the weekend.  I am taking serious notes on how my snoring could be really so bad, that I had downloaded Sleep App to record my fate tonight.  I really pray that this condition of mine gets cured.