Guarding it.

-
We started with the usual line.

ASL? 

But we didn't really end on a good note after that. We have a clash of thoughts and belief and despite the entertainment brought about by the banter, he got mad and ended the conversation abruptly. Something that I felt disappointed and proud at the same time about myself during that time. Then, complete silence. Name removed from chat list. Embraced loneliness again. Until after a few weeks, his name appeared again.

How are you?

 Something I didn't notice until after a few weeks. And then it took me a few more moments of thinking to reply or if it's just some April Fool's Day (AFD) sh*t.

As of today, we have established a sense of consistency in conversation, crazy exchanges, unending banter and big plans. Coming here and going there. Such promises and it is exciting to think about.

But as a personal reminder, I have to guard my heart. It is too early to tell.
But I would lie if I say that "I know this is just a chat. It will all soon be over. I am just entertaining myself at the moment."

Because deep inside me, as this conversations keeps going and digs deeper, my heart is screaming, "Is this real? I want it to be real. Please."

 Again, guard your heart. But if ever you fell vulnerable to the situation, don't be hard on yourself. Just pick up yourself, dust if all off and keep pushing forward.

Trust the process. Trust time. Trust yourself.

Have faith.

Comments

  1. Anonymous16 April 2019 at 10:50

    Hello i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anyplace, when i read this article
    i thought i could also make comment due to this good article.

    ReplyDelete

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