27 May 2022

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 I cant believe it is already 11pm here as I write this down. I am actually tired for the day, but I'd still wanna write it down. Just for the sake of having that feeling of being to speak to someone about how exhausting the day had been, but satisfyingly exhausting. 

How truly satisfying and freeing it is to just spill out the feeling and being vulnerable. You know feeling of wishing to come home to someone and talk to about how the day had gone and all that comes with it. 

I am on the second day of my period so I know that this emotionally-filled vent out is influenced by hormones as well. 

D hasn't reached out and most likely he will never will again from this day forward. Who knows he might not give me access to his online streaming platform anymore as well, anytime soon. I would understand that. But I hope he wouldn't cut me out from it. LOL. Such a user I am. I know. You can judge me on that one. 

I started watching this TV series called Chef's Table and it is just wonderful and calming. But I had to cut it so I can start writing this and then read before bed time. 

Tomorrow is a long day and I just really have to survive it. 

Cramps, backpain and all. I hope this is just all worth it the pain that I can still bear a child of my own anytime soon. I pray. 

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