30 Mar 2022

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I decided not to send D a birthday card. I think it is too much to ask knowing that we aren't even at a talking stage at this point. As much as I know that I deserve his kindness and gentleness, I also deserve someone who is willing to step up and speak up if he really likes me. It can't be me chasing after him or asking for favors I don't think he even would consider to do. 

I know I have so much to offer in a relationship despite my anxiety and intense overthinking skills. I just know that. But I cannot insist it to someone who wouldn't appreciate it not would make a good growth with me. Every person deserves to be with someone who would make them feel loved and would grow in to a better person for others. 

D and I deserve that kind of love. Who knows whom we'll get it from? 

It is just 4pm as I write this and probably tonight I would be so exhausted to work on journal and right now seems just perfect as I sit on the mighty throne of the toilet. 

It is just Wednesday but I feel like it is almost the end of the week. 

It is almost the end of everything in the fiscal year, actually. New beginnings by the First of April. Foolish as it may seem, we all love the idea of starting anew, a clean slate, fresh and unscathed. We all deserve second chances and new beginnings. 

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