Life of a Kat

​Today was tiring and fun! We went to this castle called Tsuruga Castle.  I drove on the snow again! It was fun and scary at the same time.  Had gone for yakiniku for dinner and now still stuck in Donki.  They had been asking me to extend my stay, but I kust couldn't anymore at this time. A lot of pending tasks. I would really love to stay longer, but seeing Kuya better and ate really just taking time to enjoy being with her brother, I am fine with that already.  I am sooooo tired actually. I just wanna go home and sleep and snore so loud. Lol.  I really need to fix that one, for sure it is a major turn off if I have someone sleeping next to me :( 

​Landed in Tokyo.  Arrived in Fukushima.  Third time in here and for a change, I was welcomed by  my ate and kuya. It felt so good to hug her. And kuya was looking so well as if nothing happened to him the past few months.  I lack sleep but here I am and still writing my journal entry today.  Tomorrow will be roadtrip and it will be amazing! ❤️

Morning was exciting. Talking to Jhe about the island school always excites me.  Morning conversation with family was also exciting coz, as far as homecoming is concerned, I can already come home with minimal restraints and quarantine restrictions, but coming back to Japan is still a little bit tricky. Also with all the expenses that comes with the isolation.  I miss home. I was looking at my old pictures from the last time I came home. I just miss it so bad.  The day rolled and work took its toll on me. And then I still have to prepare for tomorrow's flight. I am excited though. Super excited.  I will be with family.  I wish I could have more conversation with this guy I like but I think, it is time to cut all my hopes and dreams. He was nice, very nice, But probably, he is just like that to everybody else. Nonetheless, for sure he will make a good partner. I wouldn't know. 

Past midnight again and I am still here just about to get a wrap on how my day had gone.  It had been long. One of those long days that you needed a lot of mind shift from one task to another, and still haven't ticked everything in the list. From one meeting to another, then have to think about what to eat for lunch, find the parking lot for Sunday, feeling little tinge of pains in my wrists and fingers but still wanting to tap on the piano keys and do rope flow for the whole time. Those activities make time fly by so fast and makes me feel accomplished, not that I am already good at them but I can see myself making little progress and it really makes me calm down, even just for a bit. I was able squeeze in 10 mins of rope flow in the afternoon, but no piano drills :(  I did a quick packing up tonight for my Fukushima weekend trip. I was hoping to see the guy I like in Tokyo before going to Fukushima, but I guess, it isn't meant to be that way. If I will ever see him again, I ...

 I wasn't able to have good film of my rope flow tonight, so no post for memories :(  I had good thoughts earlier about what to write, but I had totally forgot about it already.  Oh well, this needy side of me just needs to mellow down at the moment.  Today was a good day, capping it off with a glass of wine, well I tried to do a second glass but it seems that I am not finishing it, or will I be? then I gotta drink water then milk.  Tomorrow is kinda busy day for adult stuff... From morning til night, but I will try to squeeze in fun rope times around lunch then nap time, then work.  Should be a busy day. 

 It is 1:18 AM. So way past my bedtime. Just because I want to finish doing the pubmat I promised for the island school. And I finished it. Good job self. Nothing really out of the ordinary today. I played piano, I practiced ropeflow, I went to work. I got tired. I had dinner.  Ohh. This afternoon, I finally sent a message to this one guy I met through a dating app. I told him to stop wasting his time on me coz it seems to me that I am really more comfortable just being on my own most of the time, or most likely, he isn't the one I want to spend time with. But even if its this guy I superlike, I dont think I can really go on for long phone conversations and doing nothing.  I don't know. I am quite micro-dosed by my crush today. We talked and I am happy. Which is not really healthy. I wish I can be the same brave self to ask him if there is a future for us, if there is none, at least I could stop hoping and move forward, right? I wish I am that brave to receive the rejecti...

 I am honestly so tired today from work but I was still able to record my cover version of Make You Feel My Love.  It was amazing. I feel so proud and I hope that I can transfer this same perseverance in my thesis writing. I know I keep repeating myself about it and not really doing anything about it, but what can I do? I just cant seem to do it right now and all I can do is learn how to play the piano.  Today was a good day. Routine-wise, I was able to do a lot stuff, and I just need to know how I could declutter further. 

 Finally able to play Make You Feel My Love by Adele in piano a little bit more melodic than the first time. Konting praktis pa!  My routines had shifted to learning to play the piano more seriously this time and it gives me the dopamine. I think this is way better for now than sulking that I cannot complete my academic tasks.  I haven't talked to this guy I superlike. Just because I don't feel like talking to anyone right now, but he did see my stories, so that's nice.  Hold On played on my spotify radio today and it was just so timely! Haha. On myway home, I played it on repeat. It felt good.  Tomorrow, I'll try to go to the gym by noon and take a nap there and straight to work. I hope I survive the new classes. 

I was able to complete a song, my first ever song I learned in piano!  Out of Reach by Gabrielle  It had rained the whole day and all I had done was just the laundry out for spin, paid the bills! Finally!  I had gone for McDo but I threw up after a few minutes. I wasted 700yen.  That would have been the only meal I had for the day and had to spit it out. Aww. My friend gave me a hoodie! Haha. Still need to wash it out so I can use it.  I tried to learn a new song, When We Were Young by Adele. Almost successful but my hands are still weak and I still forget the chords.  Conversations with my papa and kuya about vaccines are still hot and I am not going into any argument with them.  Day off gone just like that.  6-day workweek, is on tomorrow! 

This is that Saturday of the month that I have 5 classes straight and the last class is always a happy mess. Every time, I am happy to be in that class, but definitely also worried if I am really had been a teacher to the kids.  Also, last night, I was woken up by a 6.8 magnitude earthquake. Crazy. Scary. But after that, life has to go on. We had classrooms that were turned to zoom lessons because they were destroyed, mine had some but minimal and arrangements for zoom lessons had been made as well.  I finally had the bike delivered! HAHAHA. Now, just the bills to pay tomorrow if I could.  Chores tomorrow and others stuff. Tonight, I am excited to practice more on the piano :D 

 Three weeks into the year 2022!  Today was quite an accomplished Friday, but not really accomplished totally.  I still havent delivered the bike.  I am enjoying my morning piano drills and inline skates at the nearby park. I cooked lunch as well.  This is one of those days that I finish work so late and just really tired.  I am grateful for today. For a lot of things I have no more energy to write but I will always have with me. 

 So what happened today?  I was able to wake up, get up and drive my way out to see the sun rise today! I did roller blades for 30 minutes and went home.  My washing problem is finally fixed. Hallelujiah to that. I got the big wood planks sawed and ready to be disposed on Monday. I cleaned up a lot of papers. But I still have a lot of papers and books to let go of but I dont know how.  I haven't gone to pay the bills. Probaby, I should do that tomorrow. I also have to drop off the bike as per Nika's request. If I get to do that tomorrow, I definitely have accomplished a lot of decluttering this week. A few more to go.  I was able to play Begin Again in the piano today. It was nice. Work was also good. The kids had fun. Have to keep that kind of vibe.  It feels like I am going somewhere else and slowly cleaning up my apartment. I am thinking of taking a Leave of Absence with my Thesis Writing to give way to more concrete plans in life. Clearing up the path a...

Was able to do a quick rollerbladin' this morning and some rope flow too by the river.. Not really too long, but was able to go out for some sunshine.  Still haven't gone around paying the bills and other things I need to do, like having my car tires checked for air.. Gee.. I really should get back to writing on my to -do list.  I broke my washing machine water line and before going home I went to handsman and bought that connector for the pipe and the hose.  I need to wake up early tomorrow so I can do a lot of things. But it is Day 1 of period, so good luck with that and I hope I don't stain my bed. 

 Back to work after a 3-day holiday!  Ate has moved to another hotel to continue her quarantine til the 26th. I am so looking forward to meeting her and Kuya. I am more excited to have them come over here to spend time with me and see where I live.  I wonder when will I get back on track with my thesis writing? Will I even ever have the courage to pick up on it again? I want to. I just cant seem to make my way on it.  The Academia is my dream. Always has been.  Days are getting better and better.  If this guy I am interested in won't have me for his wife, I know I have a thesis to comfort me when my love life goes dark on me. HAHA.  Day 5 on Rollerblades :D Happy and just happy to be rollin' :D  Signed up for a complete specialization course of ropeflow and just so excited for it. See me roll those ropes in awesomeness! 

I am still crying. I can't stop crying.  My cousin has been declared in full remission and ready to go home.  It is the thing that made me breakdown and cry for the day. Monday started a bit intense with some things I had to deal with at the city hall and for national health insurance.  Did some thrift shopping and found some gooooood stuff:  I go lucky today that I was able to find a perfect fit roller blades! So no more tight fit blades to practice on. A very cute peachy bubble jacket and a brown plaid dress that I could when I go to Tokyo to see my cousins in 2 weeks. Funny when I heard the news about my cousin, I wanted to share the news to this one person, but I held up myself, instead, I sent messages to my friends about my cousin's remission. I had to remind myself that as much as I want to share the news, if the feeling isn't returned, it will just hurt me. No expectations, right? But if I keep interacting and he responds in crumbs, I might suck it up and ask...

​ Decided to let go of the frames and mount all my present life quotes in a single big frame I got from Kuya G.  I keep tossing stuff but they never seem to really go away. I keep wanting to declutter, but it doesn't seem like it is. But it actually is. More space to move, to breathe and keep on learning to just have the basics. Every day, I am learning.  The decluttering journey continues.  Today was spent with Ate's plans as we figure out how she will go to Fukushima and be united with Kuya. Then, babysitting Haruki came next. It is always fun to be with him. When I become a Mom, I hope that I am as firm and patient at the same time, like I am with him.   Parenthood is a scary thing.  Once this tossing madness ends, next is to sell some books. And read more books today. I have already finished 2 books and thats a good start.  Tomorrow, I gotta go to the city hall and pay my enrolment fees for my ropeflow certification and maybe meal plan? Or skate? Maybe ...

​It's 3AM as I write this. I forgot that I have to do this.  It was quite a productive Saturday. Way better than I had imagined it to be. I went to the shrine for the New Year's Prayer tradition. I wore boots and I like the tapping sound it made as I walk. Haha.  Had Chinese food for lunch.  Went home to do some postings.  Went for a quick run.  Finally had tokbokki! So that's Korean for late dinner.  Had a good bonding session with my crazy friend and then now, I am still up coz I had no milk and also there was a tsunami alert but everything right now is so quiet that I think the danger is past us.  Glad I still remembered to do this quick journal entry. 

 One thing good about this type of writing, is that I don't have to think deep of a good title.   The day itself becomes the title.  I woke up feeling a little bit under the weather but still insisted on less than an hour drill of ropes. I think I am getting so much dopamine with the feeling of progress on it, slow and steady.  But I got home, my body felt heavier and I just spent the afternoon laying bed, resting, napping, saving energy for my classroom battles for the day which actually ended with so much fun.  In all those bad days I had, all I really needed was a good rest before the battle to give me energy to think on my toes appropriately for the situation.  I have missed doing errands and I would like to blame the weather and I couldnt keep blaming the weather because in the coming weeks, it will be excruciatingly cold and if I dont do these things now, I will suffer. And I am already suffering at the moment.  Despite the colds, it had bee...

Very windy today. Crazy winds that I have never been a fan of.  Still a lot of pending tasks but the usual chores were done coz no one else will do it. If only someone else can do it for me, I prolly can have more other stuff done. Maybe in the future, when I can afford to have a bigger space, then maybe I would consider a washing machine and a dryer. But that means I wont have an excuse to be out and about for drills. LOL.  Hmm.. I am thinking of getting myself veil pois as part of my workout drills. Hmm.. Whatchuthink? LOL.  A good news for today is that... the girl in our NGO school that had been hospitalized due to a series of infection is out of the woods now and is bound for home. Her plight would have been prevented if she had been provided with the basic and proper nutrition, but nature hasn't been kind lately and all they can do is fight for their lives as they survive it on a day-to-day basis.  Will go to the gym early tomorrow. I promise. Still a lot of wo...

 This is gonna be short coz it is very late right now.  Morning was such a happy time to get the time to talk to Jhe about what she had gone through in Siargao and how she is going right now.  The traumatic event had led her to be unable to write with coherence and confidence. Nonetheless she is still jolly and witty and perky. But not so excited to the idea of going back to the battlefield but we all have no choice but to send her back in there.  Then when I came into my classroom, I saw my big boss eating up space in my work table but I have no choice but to go on with my day of teaching.  As usual, the challenging classes had put on their best masks to keep themselves uninterested. But the class and the day ended with all of us in one piece.  Still crawling up in my warm bed with made up weighted blanket and plushes to hug to put me to sleep. 

​Year 5 in Japan! Who would have thought I could stay that long in this country. It had been five years of a good life with its blend of emotional challenges, financial struggles, unrequited love, opportunities, and adventures.  But here I am, Anxiety is hitting me just so bad that sometimes I question my own existence.  I wish I can go home to someone. I wish I can go home to him. As if he lives close by. A plane away. I mean, I wish I can look forward to a day of having someone to talk to about sweet nothings and teasings and feel safe and vulnerable at the same time. But obviously, it has been another story of a guy I've met and had no plan of staying. I still pray it isn't. Who knows.  Well, today, I haven't gone over my research task. Morning flew so fast with that interview and drill practice. But it was good. Work went fine.  It's getting colder and colder. I am hoping to get up eary tomorrow but it is still a matter of vision. Lol.  I wanna go to America...

​18:15  10 minutes before my class starts. Of the things I had planned for today, I failed on the most important one: Reading Abstracts and books about Code Switching Little Michael from our island school passed away at 2am due to the complications as a result of incessant rains, stagnant water due to flooding, malnutrition due to inadequate and unhealthy food intake.  I'm mad. I'm sad. Because their situation feels very helpless and hopeless. It is as if no matter what we do from all over, there will always be a casualty. At the moment, we already 2 deaths in the community.  A mom called in telling that her kid would be late. Today's a holiday in Japan and families probably took the time off for bonding and fun activities.  Hmmmm.. When I get home later, I will definitely resume the Designated Survivor binge. Hmmm.. as for dinner, still thinking. I'll prolly warm the pork and beans and have some milk before bed.  I had a very bad dream last night. I dreamt that...

 A very calm, alone Sunday.  I spent the morning doing chores, cleaning, throwing things that I don't think I will need a use for, making space for moving and breathing inside this little sanctuary of quiet I have created for myself.  I was woken up by the usual morning family video call, surprisingly, it was Papa's voice that I heard first! Our black dog, Noggie, is limping. Just like me! But I feel much better now, actually. While waiting for the spin dry of my clothes in the laundromat, I took time to practice some drills. Still very light moves but it felt good to be out in the sun.  Then, I just stayed home after that.  I was able to go over my payables and savings for this month! It is actually short but I had been able to move around some funding to make sure that I get bills paid with minimal unpaid responsibility, at least for this month.  I finally had the chance to binge on Designated Survivor, it had been on my downloads folder for awhile. ...

​It is 1:55AM the next day as I write this down.  I am ready for bed. My knee feels better and I think I can already do some drills tomorrow. But not running.  We watched Spiderman 3 and it was amazing. I swear.  Had gone for a few drinks too but non alcoholic since I had to drive. 

​I am typing this away as I wait for someone to take my order for dinner. I am on my way home from my hotel school and I decided to check out the night before my last morning. I haven't been sleeping well in the hotel and I hope that when I get home onto my own bed, I'll sleep better.  I am currently nursing a swollen left breast and right knee. I forgot my tumbler in school so I had to go back. As I walk towards the pipe where the keybox is mounter, I tripped my left foot on to that small island meant as a parking boundary for cars in the parking lot. It was as if I flew then literally, my body landed straight onto the ground. I felt lucky that it wasn't flat face onto the bike. That would probably be worse.  I am trying to feel my knee if it would affect my driving but it seems to be fine but I would rather be extra careful on the road. I will be taking the non-toll road so hopefully that keeps me all safe.  As for how this day had gone... it was nice. I had a good conv...

 This is probably gonna be so short because I am already sleepy. LOL.  I have stayed so late because the tagging features of Facebook on my post isn't working and I don't understand why. It is a dilemma but I will figure it out tomorrow. I need to make time for it. I am so behind with my personal deadlines and it will be overwhelming again for sure in the next coming days if I can't finish them sooner.  The day went smoothly. I was able to manage saving my energy to make sure that I still have enough energy for work in the afternoon after a morning of flows and movements.  Tomorrow, I need to check on my grad school portal, re-visit my paper and see how I can go and make it a real thesis proposal. Or else, I would rather get pregnant and be an awesome wife and mom if I can't write anymore. Heck, I still need to make sure I have a partner to work on those goals. Ugh. I don&t know which one is harder: dating or academic writing.  Happy Thursday it had been. Th...

 Look at that! Five days straight of journaling with not really much to put on it except the boring, daily stuff. But I am happy I get to write again.  I woke way a bit late than usual today. But I managed to start a full body workout but didn't get to complete the last set of exercises coz my right wrist just got a bit more painful. Still, I did it! Stripped off my comfy pajamas and onto sports bra and tights and yoga mat. I brewed coffee, checked on my stocks account for trading decisions and notices, checked on my university profile to see if I need to enrol for residence, but i dont think it is necessary, it seems. I just need to be able to pick up work on my thesis proposal as soon as possible.  There was cleaning, luggage prep, a bit of piano practice and it seems that are are still so many things to throw away from my house. HAHAHA.  I am enjoying this slow journey to minimalism.  Work resumes today as well. Long drives and hotel stays are back! But not r...

 I am too lazy to write, but I am gonna start writing now because I don't know when I will start failing to reflect on my days again.  I woke up late today, but I managed to put on my workout clothes, loaded up the laundry to the machine and went back to bed. LOL.  There are still a lot of things to get rid of, but one thing at a time, I suppose. It is very hard to figure out if I am throwing away the trash properly. Yes, five years in Japan and I am still not good at it. I still get confused and needs help from the locals.  But other than that, everything felt nice and just seem to have more space for moving inside the apartment.  I was able to manage to do a first run via the Nike Run Club.  The Orange is the New Black marathon is consistent. Crazy consistent. The Netflix curse is on me.  I delivered the appliances that I wanted to get rid of to my friend's house. But I still have a box of containers, plastics and things I dont think I will ever need...

The capsule hotel I stayed overnight for an early morning flight back to Miyazaki this morning was nice but I didn't get to sleep well coz I was hungry. LOL. I ate 7 pieces of takoyaki balls, 3 pieces of karaage and a glass of beer. I kept waking up every hour and so I just decided to get up around 530am and prep to go to my designated terminal. I was hoping to see the sunrise but the line to the check in but it was quite a busy line and I was still so hungry and so my morning goal then was just to get something into my tummy. I was so excited to go home, the flight was delayed for an hour but I didn't really mind coz I was just groggy with lack of sleep but I was still able to manage reading 2 chapters of the book I am reading right now.  Second book for 2022, pat me on the back for that.  I started cleaning and decluttering, as expected, I am not yet finished with it.  I am past my bed time right now and I still have a lot of laundry stuff to clean up and load up tomorr...

 I am actually too tired to work on this journal entry but I think I have to do so, for the sake of doing it and the habit of going over the day as it had gone.  I left Kuya Glen's place past 815. I am actually excited with the idea of going back home but of course, I didn't go home yet.  As soon as I step into Ueno, my plans of meeting a co-fellow and friend, Julio, was up. They were staying at the outskirts of Metro Tokyo.  I agreed to meet them at Starbucks in Naka Meguro. He had friends with him and it was just a fun. I am happy for him that he had been brave enough to reveal his gender preference and be able to talk freely about it. That sparkling eyes and exciting voice as he narrates his adventures in Sendai and beyond, has been very refreshing to hear.  Tons of photos, here and there. It was nice but for some reasons, I am just not in the mood myself to take photos today. Probably just tired.  Next stop was the Odaiba Center and I am glad that they ...

 Day 1 0f 365  I woke up at 10am today. I was actually awake already around 7am but decided to just curl up in bed and scroll on my phone as if there is anything significant to look at.  It is my last night of stay in my Kuya's place in Fukushima. I honestly miss my home but I was also kinda surprised how time flew by while I was here. We ate a lot, shared chores, walked outside, we had wheels for the first three days which was nice.  I am thinking of completely quitting the gym and jump start on taking Running seriously. I remember Haruki Murakami all of a sudden. Tokyo Marathon for me as well? Maybe I will meet him there?  I haven't really gone to the gym on a regular basis and just not really making use of the membership at all.  In 2022, priority is on re-aligning finances as I consider moving to another country if my lovelife won't even spring in this year.  I am considering starting a totally new thesis proposal for my MA research paper and I hop...