26 Jan 2022

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 It is 1:18 AM. So way past my bedtime. Just because I want to finish doing the pubmat I promised for the island school. And I finished it. Good job self.

Nothing really out of the ordinary today. I played piano, I practiced ropeflow, I went to work. I got tired. I had dinner. 

Ohh. This afternoon, I finally sent a message to this one guy I met through a dating app. I told him to stop wasting his time on me coz it seems to me that I am really more comfortable just being on my own most of the time, or most likely, he isn't the one I want to spend time with. But even if its this guy I superlike, I dont think I can really go on for long phone conversations and doing nothing. 

I don't know. I am quite micro-dosed by my crush today. We talked and I am happy. Which is not really healthy. I wish I can be the same brave self to ask him if there is a future for us, if there is none, at least I could stop hoping and move forward, right? I wish I am that brave to receive the rejection. I am not even sure but I can really feel but maybe not? right? I dont know. HAHA

If I take a look at my life, I am living a good, "independent" life, as long as nothing unhealthy comes my way, I am fine. 

Still stuck into that wishful thinking that he would like me so much to ask me to be his girlfriend and then lifetime partner. HAHA. 

Good night. I really should go to bed now. 

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