10 Jan 2022

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​18:15 


10 minutes before my class starts. Of the things I had planned for today, I failed on the most important one: Reading Abstracts and books about Code Switching


Little Michael from our island school passed away at 2am due to the complications as a result of incessant rains, stagnant water due to flooding, malnutrition due to inadequate and unhealthy food intake. 

I'm mad. I'm sad. Because their situation feels very helpless and hopeless. It is as if no matter what we do from all over, there will always be a casualty. At the moment, we already 2 deaths in the community. 


A mom called in telling that her kid would be late. Today's a holiday in Japan and families probably took the time off for bonding and fun activities. 


Hmmmm.. When I get home later, I will definitely resume the Designated Survivor binge. Hmmm.. as for dinner, still thinking. I'll prolly warm the pork and beans and have some milk before bed. 


I had a very bad dream last night. I dreamt that I ran into a car in a parking lot and it was dark. The other driver just walked away and when I checked, there were other 2 damaged cars! A small one and a normal size one. I was so lost on what to do on the dream, I wanted to cry but I couldn't cry. The last thing I remember was I was waiting for my car insurance guy to show up. Then, I decided, I had to wake up. It fet so real. I got so scared that my license will be taken away from me and that all my free time will be lost and that I would need to commute to places here and there. 


Tomorrow: 


Bedding change

Zoom conference

Late morning run and drill

Meal prep (?) 

Bank deposit 

Reading about Code Switching

Nap

Work


I don't know why I keep wishing for someone. He doesn't prolly see me in the same angle. We couldn't even hold a conversation. Whenever we chat, he would just like my reply and for me that's the end of the conversation. I don't even know why I am begging for his attention when obviously, it isn't available for me. I don't know. This is probably just hormones acting up. 


My sad feeling should be the last thing I have to linger on if I want to keep being functional for our mission in the island school, do better in my current job, and get going with my thesis. 


It would be nice to look forward to a day and go home and share a meal with a significant other. For the meantime, it is better this way, keeping tab on myself on how I can get better every single day. 


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